tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3529556994103961483.post6267974823052110525..comments2023-09-05T07:46:02.802-03:00Comments on a book elegantly bound: she weptMeganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07951290172725305053noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3529556994103961483.post-5954425555273123162009-03-09T16:04:00.000-03:002009-03-09T16:04:00.000-03:00yes! yes! 'left, right, left right' would be cool ...yes! yes! 'left, right, left right' would be cool in it's own as well. love the capitalizationDarlingKatehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05468671622021875137noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3529556994103961483.post-68833405104278618992009-03-09T10:55:00.000-03:002009-03-09T10:55:00.000-03:00The ground is blurry, liquid glass windows obstruc...The ground is blurry, liquid glass windows obstructing her view of the silvery sodden footwear.<BR/><BR/>I really like that. I have a similar recent memory. of staring at grass that grew luminous and almost cartoonish when my eyes started tearing. <BR/><BR/>i would say to break it up a bit with paragraphs. 'that was all it took, a few harmonious notes' should be on its own, great line. I actually think a few of these lines should be their own paragraph, to make them really pop. <BR/><BR/>this is beautiful, and i think it could be something much bigger. lets talk about it this week in 'real life'.DarlingKatehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05468671622021875137noreply@blogger.com