arduous reverie

“Come to me in my dreams, and then
By day I shall be well again”
- Matthew Arnold

Makeup gone, my face scrubbed away
From the counterfeit performance of the day
My head rests on the cool-sided pillow.
Dreading and desiring both the soon inevitable
Thoughts rampant, my heart sensibilities unstable
Your feautures always haunting me in my dreams
The comfortable face that taunts me in waking hours
Eyes closed. I see incontestably what could be ours
You are ever consistently, my most Beautiful Nightmare.
Greet me, my love. Come, as you have appeared
Giving yourself to me. Gloriously a thousand times before.
Gazing into my soul, with that smile I adore
Only in the terrifying realm I cannot control,
The place where my subconscious takes over
Giving me the pleasure of an unreality
Wishful thinking of confidentiality
Upon waking, this alone will get me through
The hopeless longing of the day.