emotional reallocation

It is always fascinating to me when those palpable memories of years gone by take that inevitable shift into a new place in your mind. A place that is marked by a welcomed acceptance of present moments or a genuine indifference for the past hurts that once felt so insurmountable. After the passage of time you can look into the eyes of a person you once loved, one who broke you into a thousand, seemingly unrepairable fractions of your former self, and a completely foreign feeling is evoked. Or sometimes there are no feelings at all. In those days past, your reason-voice told you that mending takes time. This, you knew all along, repeated over in the terrible cliché we all spout, time heals all wounds... But an aching heart never listens to reason, instead it sorrowfully acquiesces to the intense throbbing of the soul. As if someone took to it with a hammer, beating the bloody fist into a shredded and bruised pulp of mess. That pain, oh nothing stops that pain in the moment. No assuring words, or compassionate touches, no bitter tears or punches thrown can assuage the agony. But as the days, months, and years roll past, something changes inside the brokenhearted. Now, recollecting that moment when your world was shattered and you thought you could not endure, you stand in complete awe at the subtle entirety of the emotional reallocation. Our sentiments are fickle, they move about space and time without coercion or prompting. I consider the moments when my heart has been broken. They have been few, but no less excruciating, and I am struck now by a complete shrug of apathety. Those experiences and people have shaped me, yes, but they are nothing more than distant memories. I am no longer revisited by the sting of old wounds upon recollection, for my injuries have all completely healed. This astounds me. This provision of our heart; the resilience of our soul to learn to let go of what once was, and look onward. It is beautiful, and nearly certain. And that hope, the desire for a more perfect love, is what drives us to risk it all... again and again.