Prayer is hard for me. Despite knowing better, I still feel like I am talking to the wall, my bed sheets, or the back of my eyelids. It seems that whatever inanimate object I am facing at the time tends to become the recipient of my words, and then I can’t help but feel a little foolish. My thoughts always come out better in words on a screen or scrawled in a notebook anyways. They become more cohesive when tangibly tapped out on a keyboard. In writing, my thoughts flow most freely, often moving through my mind faster than my fingertips. Which is a good thing, right Jesus? I mean, I have a lot to tell you, and we desperately need to catch up because I've been seriously sucking at this lately. So this may not be poetry, and it probably won’t be eloquent or beautiful. But it is truth. And I mean every single word.
Jesus, thank you for placing certain people in my life, and giving me the wisdom to trim away those that do not edify my spirit or encourage my growth. I have beautiful friends and I praise you for your artistic touch in creating them each unique and wonderful. Thank you for the gift of discernment and I pray that you will help me to use this gift on myself a little more often.
Thank you for reminding me that even though I am called to love everyone as you have loved them, that does not mean that I need to invest my energy and resources into people you have not ordained me to be in community with. There is a season for everything. Thank you for the talents that you have blessed me with, and I beg for you to continue breathing life and passion into them. I do not want fall back into the apathetic laziness and complacency of the past. You deserve more than that.
Thank you for your Word, and how even on the roughest of days I can open its pages and my spirit is rejuvenated. Thank you for challenging me every day. It feels as though each moment is presented with a new struggle, in addition to my consistent usuals, but you take these moments to teach me your love. Thank you for making me increasingly aware of these lessons.
Thank you for the beauty of your creation and your people. Mostly Jesus, thank you for being patient with me. I always seem to remember your incomprehensible grace, unconditional love, and your unwavering faithfulness... but your simple patience is what really astounds me. Because I can be a brat sometimes, but you always wait patiently for me to come around.
And Jesus... I think I’m coming around.
I love you,
How good it is to sing praises to our God,
how pleasant and fitting to praise him!
3 weeks ago