Sunday, March 15, 2009

the lovely broken

*The world is broken, and it broke me. These words have resonated in my mind for the past few weeks. The world is broken. It broke me. I AM broken. My heart has been broken a few too many times, my faith is constantly being tested, my resolve is steadily weakened. I am jaded, bitter, cyncial and skeptical. I have been trampled on and walked over. I exist in these mundane day-to-day moments because I have to, because there is no visible escape and I genuinely have no choice. The sun still rises bringing the dawn, whether or not I want it to. The minutes tick by, some more slowly than others, and I cannot speed or still this time. I am not depressed, I am unmotivated. I have nothing driving me to waken, to dress, to move. And in this mundane existence I find myself broken. I am left to the malicious devices of my thoughts or the unpredictability of fickle emotions.

However, this nature of brokenness has allowed me to see the shattered pieces of the world. I have shed the distractions of self-preservation; the unpredictability of my own reality has cleared my normally clouded vision. I find myself less irritated with people, better able to love them in their current state. Their pain hurts me. Their joy brings me joy. My opinions of others are no longer shrouded in a false-superiority. Because I am my own brand of mess, I can see their mess for the complex beauty that it is; unique constellations of attributes and flaws. When my circumstances are stable I only see people as wallowing in their own filth and misery and sin, so I lash out in frustration and judgment. Now, I understand brokenness because I am visibly so. I clearly see this broken world, because I am broken too. So my dear friends, in all your broken glory, you are perfect to God and you are perfect to me. And I will love you, just as you are.

“Let's not just talk about love; let's practice real love. This is the only way we'll know we're living truly, living in God's reality.” –1 John 3:18 (The Message)


*kate lynch brilliance cred.

3 comments:

  1. I love this line:
    Because I am my own brand of mess, I can see their mess for the complex beauty that it is...

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  2. I keep reading this over and over. Thanks for writing it.

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  3. I know exactly how you feel. Get out of my head.

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